We Should Care More About Young Men

Republicans have taken over the cultural spaces beloved by young men, and Democrats have failed to create a space for them within our party.

Photo by Pim Myten on Unsplash

Many young men do not feel welcomed in the Democratic party.

It’s just a fact. Anyone who bemoans that point and argues against it is doing so to the detriment of winning elections. “Why do we need to center men in the conversation?” Because campaigning to all voters is how we win. Not having these conversations earlier is part of the reason Donald Trump was able to make such gains with that group in this past election.

But can any of us really be surprised?

I’m a 22-year-old bisexual—of course, I loved the Harris campaign! I loved the ties to BRAT and the apple dance, which was copied by numerous Democratic elected officials across the country.

I loved it because it was designed for me, a young queer woman, to love! Now, that’s not to say we shouldn’t have content that appeals to all demographics of young voters—but that’s precisely the problem: we don’t.

This became abundantly clear to me when I found myself explaining what BRAT meant to multiple straight male friends—the same friends who were seeing pro-Trump messages in all their favorite content spaces. Every time they wanted to kick back and watch a stream or podcast about sports, fitness, or gaming, that subtle—or sometimes obvious—pro-Trump messaging was there. It also became clear to me as I organized around the Texas Senate race, where I found myself on college campuses often.

I made it a point to speak with young men who weren’t traditionally included in political conversations. I talked to frat dudes.

Yes, Barstool-watching, vape-using, BeatBox-drinking frat dudes who pair Lululemon pants with fitted polo shirts.

And something became clear to me—these young men, even those who identified as conservative, were far more socially progressive than people assumed. They were pro-choice, they believed in protecting gay marriage, and they acknowledged that climate change is real and needs to be addressed. One young man, a self-identified Republican, told me he was pro-choice because, “We all know someone who has had an abortion.” He supported his friend’s decision and recognized the real impact abortion bans have had on women across the country.

These young men were compassionate and empathetic. They cared deeply about others and, more often than not, held social views that aligned with my own. So why do they vote for Republicans? Or, if they do vote for Democrats, why do they do so begrudgingly rather than with enthusiasm?

The economy and the culture.

For young men, economic expectations create anxiety. Whether we want to admit it or not, gender roles DO exist in America. Young men have been told their entire lives that their role is to be the provider, the man of the house, the breadwinner.

So when they feel like that is threatened—when they feel like they will fall short or fail—they become resentful of the people or systems they believe are in their way. And honestly, I get it. Coming of age in today’s America is not only exhausting, but it’s also far more expensive than it was for our parents or grandparents. Jobs don’t pay wages that match the workload, housing costs are astronomical, and grocery prices continue to rise due to inflation.

For those of us who read policy proposals and watch press conferences, we know that Democratic economic plans offer more opportunities for young people. But the average young man doesn’t know that—because he hasn’t been told.

It’s easy to think of the internet as one big space where young people engage side by side, but that’s not the case. The internet consists of multiple highways that sometimes overlap but don’t always connect. Kamala Harris can go on Club Shay Shay with Shannon Sharpe or Call Her Daddy with Alex Cooper—but how does that reach young men watching The Pat McAfee Show or Impaulsive? It doesn’t.

This isn’t Kamala Harris’ fault. The online spaces young men frequent have been co-opted by right-wing political figures, whose hosts often express conservative views. We saw this play out when Harris didn't appear on The Joe Rogan Experience—which seems now to have been by his design—but the point remains. Republicans have taken over the cultural spaces beloved by young men, and Democrats have failed to create a space for them within our party.

This may seem like an impossible problem to solve, but the solution is simple: Young men want to feel like we care about them and won’t judge them just for being young men—especially young white men. How is that any different from any other voter demographic? We don’t have to coddle them or prioritize them over others; we just need to engage them the way we do everyone else. Part of that means moving away from identity politics.

If you’re about to accuse me of being a Republican, you are part of the problem.

Democrats have twisted ourselves into a pretzel trying to make the party as big and inclusive as possible—which is a good thing! But the way we’ve approached it hasn’t fostered inclusivity; it has created division. We separate people by identity, gender, sexuality, or race, boxing them into silos that force candidates to change their messaging depending on their audience. This approach erases the reality that two people with the same identity can have vastly different life experiences.

I’m a white girl raised in a Baptist church in Texas. One of my closest friends is a Black man who grew up just a few hours away from me. Which one of us lived in a trailer park and relied on a Pell Grant to attend college? Hint: It’s not the person many on the left would assume.

It doesn’t matter if you’re white, Black, male, female, gay, or straight—Donald Trump repealing the Affordable Care Act would kick you off your parents health insurance. While Democrats have spent years emphasizing racism, sexism, and homophobia, Republicans have successfully exploited class anxiety, which unites people across demographic lines.

That’s why Trump’s anti-trans ads were effective—not because the general public is hysterical about trans issues (most people generally think the government should mind its business), but because they convinced voters that Kamala Harris was using your tax dollars to help others while you struggled to pay rent.

Immigration was a key issue because Republicans framed it as immigrants “stealing” jobs young men should have—especially in places like Ohio, where Haitian immigrants have become an integral part of the local workforce. That little voice in the back of young men's head that tells them they’re a failure, that they aren’t man enough to provide– that is where right wing ideologies thrive. That is where Republicans create a cohort of angry, bitter, and scared voters.

The concerns of young men and the broader disconnect with some young voters all trace back to economic anxiety and their social exclusion from a party that has ironically prioritized inclusivity for all.

We don’t have to abandon our policies or values, nor do we need to throw marginalized groups under the bus. We just have to be consistent in our messaging and ensure that we welcome everyone into the fold. We also won’t accomplish bringing these young people back into our coalition simply by “making Democrats cool.” Being a Republican isn’t even cool, it’s just more frequent in cultural spaces young men engage with. There are plenty of Democratic politicians who easily could appeal to young men– notably Josh Shapiro and Wes Moore. We don’t have to change our policies or put out watered down pop culture references– we just have to expose them to the people who already have done the work in our party in a true and authentic way.

Until we do that—until we engage young men in their own spaces and address their concerns authentically—we will continue to lose not just this generation of young men, but the next one as well.